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THIS is the last, haunting self-portrait of Andrew McAuley, a man and his kayak, alone. All around, a vast seascape of emptiness. The green-grey Tasman Sea heaving, the horizon a cruel circle. Endless.
For 30 days and nights, wherever the Australian adventurer turned his salt-rimed eyes, he understood his solitude. His only solace was his courage and determination.
Paddling by day, drifting at night while he slept in a protective cocoon, Mr McAuley, 39, crossed 1500 kilometres of ocean. On February 9 he was within 30 nautical miles, or 54 kilometres, of the South Island of New Zealand, close enough to photograph its mountains.
Some time the next day, he expected to make landfall and achieve a long-held ambition to become the first man to take a kayak across the Tasman Sea. His wife and son were waiting for him in Milford Sound.
At 7.15pm, the New Zealand Coastguard picked up an almost indecipherable ccsignal from a vessel that identified itself as Kayak 1. There were two clear words: "help" and "sinking". Then silence.
The following evening, his upturned seven-metre kayak was seen from the air. The kayak was recovered but Mr McAuley's body has not been found. It is believed he drowned in 15-degree water when the kayak capsized while he was asleep. He did not have an immersion suit, which might have helped him survive in the cold sea.
In the wind and wet, Andrew McAuley's family and friends stood silently as he told them a final tale about the most "full-on" adventure he'd ever had.
A tape recovered from McAuley's kayak after it was found floating empty in the Tasman Sea earlier this month was played at his memorial service in Sydney today.
In it, McAuley wonders if he's "bitten off more than I can chew", after capsizing in 30 knot winds and huge swells and bailing 100 litres of water from his kayak.
The recording was believed to have been made in the final days of the 39-year-old's bid to become the first person to kayak from Australia to New Zealand.
"I've learned the meaning of the word 'extreme', this really is extreme," he said.
"It's full-on man, it's fuckin' full-on. It's an excellent adventure - provided I make it.
"It's something that's really out there - it's more full-on than anything that I ever imagined.
"It's just wild, but it's a true, true stunning adventure.
"I just hope I haven't bitten off more than I can chew."
McAuley went on to say he hoped he would reach New Zealand "really soon".
"Right now I just want it to be over, to be truthfully honest." he said.
"When it's all over I'll look back and I'll be stoked, I'l be stoked, stoked, stoked that I did it.
"I'm looking forward to finishing because it's hard, it's hard going, but it's kinda fun at the same time.
"I was quoted in an article the other day as an 'extreme kayaker'... I guess this makes me extreme, if liking this stuff makes me extreme, maybe I am.
"I just like it, it's, I dunno, better than liking soap operas or something."
